Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Happy 25th Anniversary, CNN Headline News, RIP

Now here's why you suck. I've watched Headline News for the last 20 years. The beauty of Headline News was you could turn it on any time and get a half an hour of news. You got a minute of weather, a minute or two of sports, the "Hollwood Minute", and then maybe a two minute "human-interest" puff piece at the end. But then you got at least 15 minutes of real news. Things started to go downhill when Time-Warner bought Turner, and accelerated when AOL bought Time-Warner. " It's hipper and trendier than ever, with less and less actual news content. If you cut out all the witty banter, you'd probably have another five minutes for covering actual news. Well now you've gone too far:
On February 21, Headline News launched "Headline Prime" an all-new, prime-time lineup, featuring "Showbiz Tonight," a live entertainment news show; "Nancy Grace" a legal news and debate show and "Prime News Tonight," a nightly, national news program. Before and after the new programs, Headline News continues to provide you with top stories, business news, sports, weather and entertainment news around the clock. [Source]
This crapfest goes on from 7-10 Eastern and then repeats for the west coast, so from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m., which is the time I was most likely to watch, there's no fucking Headline News. We hates it! We hates it forever! Attention Weather Channel! You are also on dangerous ground. Used to be I could get weather every 8 minutes. Now it seems like every time I want the current conditions or a forecast, I get "Storm Stories" instead. Cut that shit out. If I want weather history, I'll turn on the Discovery Channel. Stick to your core competency, which is forecasting the fucking weather. And will someone please gag The Schwartz? The man just will not shut the fuck up.

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